I know internal struggle.
I know how loneliness tastes.
I know how depression affects one’s life.
I know the dilemma between wanting to end it all and holding on one more minute for one more thing.
I know about the swear underneath the breath to try one last time.
I know how the knees become weak and days seem bleak when the weight of the world is on the shoulders.
I know how cold and hard rock bottom is.
I know how forcefully the head pounds when nothing is going as expected or when there seems to be no way out.
I know how deep frustration sinks when at sunset, your mind can’t rest, or during sunrise, eyes are yet to dry.
I know that negative thoughts can invade the mind and take over.
I know how long some nights seems to be when the mind is clogged with questions…..BUT this is not what you think it is; this isn’t me trying to compare my wounds with yours; how long they bled or how deep they run.
This isn’t me trying to discount your emotions or trying to show you that others have had it rougher. This is me telling you that I have a glimpse of it all, that you are free from judgement, that you are safe, and it’s possible to overcome it all. This is me offering a hand. This is me stretching my hands for you to walk right into them. This is me whispering into your ear to let you know that you shouldn’t be working so hard behind the scenes just to put on a show with anyone.
This is me telling you to let that thorn in your heart pierce through and exit your body. You have to let that pain flow out; even if it means being ripped into pieces by it or starting from ground zero. You have to break to become. You will bleed profusely and then the wound will close up.
You don’t have to act like you have it all together; if it hurts, it hurts. If it’s hard, it is hard.
You don’t have to measure your words to ensure they don’t give you away. Or sit with me acting like you are enjoying the conversation when you are breaking inside. You don’t have to pinch your cheeks to give them some colour when you are dying inside. You don’t have to ignore the sadness. Come here, be vulnerable with me. Let me see your wounds and how deep they run. Let me hold you. Let me offer my shoulder for you to cry on. Let me share my warmth with you and help you in all the ways I can. Let me catch that tear before it falls on the ground. Let me ride this boat for you to the safe shores.Follow @CathyWanjiru8