They raised you in the way they thought was best. They used the knowledge that they had inherited from their parents and the society. They used the tactics they were seeing, hearing, and had learned from the materials available to them.
They disciplined you in the way they thought would yield the best results. They gave you what they thought was right and maybe it was wrong and inadequate.
Maybe they projected their anger onto you and because of it, you can barely control yourself. Forgive!
Maybe you were the collateral damage of their frequent fights. Forgive! Maybe their coldness turned you cold. Forgive!
Maybe they ignored your wants in the name of “you were a child and they knew best and most” and because of it, you are unable to express your emotions. Forgive!
Maybe they shouted at you so much that you thought speaking is a crime and because of it, you bottle everything or you think by shouting, you will be heard. Maybe their style of instilling discipline made you fearful of the world and led to resentment towards children.
Maybe they were too busy or absent to notice your growth or desire for emotional connection. Forgive!
Maybe you don’t have a list of memories you can turn to. Maybe all you know about them is that they are your parents. Forgive!
Maybe they didn’t teach you about life other than study, get good grades, get a job, and marry and because of it, you were surprised by how much there is to life than that. Maybe they didn’t teach you much about life but are expecting much from you. Forgive!
Maybe they didn’t teach you how to deal with conflicting emotions, or heal from heartbreaks, or live with difficult people. Forgive! Maybe they scarred you with their diminishing words disguised as “truths” and because of it, you lost your confidence and sense of worth. Forgive!
You are because they were. You are the way you are because they made you, but you can evolve. In fact, you evolve every second. You can move into and out of form. You can kill some cells and pave the way for new ones. They had and have their flaws.
You may have their eyes, but you can change your perspective. You may have their ears, but you can use yours to listen to all the cues attentively. You can learn new skills. You can develop communication skills. You can learn how to manage anger, be emotionally available and accommodating, and attentive to the needs of others.
For everything they did and didn’t do, for every word they said and didn’t say, forgive. The fact that you recognized the flaws in they style of parenting shows that you are wise. You know better, do better with yours.